Saturday, October 27, 2012

dad worked hard

I can't wear my wedding ring anymore.  I was climbing down a ladder in the back of the plant and the guy above me stepped on my finger,  the pressure crushed the ring onto my finger and cut off the circulation.  C.J. had to cut the ring off with a pair of snips, I thought I was going to lose it, my finger that is.  I keep the ring in my wife's jewelry box now.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

The Regal

Participate


     My father took a business trip to the east coast one year and he took the whole family along on the trip.  We had stopped in Philadelphia the same weekend that Bruce Springsteen was in town touring for  Born in the U.S.A.  Of course there was no way we were going to get tickets but we went to the stadium anyway and sat outside in the parking lot.  We must have heard half the concert sitting on the bumper of the Buick.  My dad bought a couple of hoagies from a vendor, we had dinner and some entertainment.  I have never seen Springsteen in concert but I have heard him live in the parking lot in Philadelphia.  That was one of the best nights of my life.  

Friday, October 12, 2012

Working

Weekends are for the wealthy... it gives them a chance to come into where we work in the middle of the day and rub it in that they get two days a week off and they still have more money than us.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Surrounded

I have to leave for work in an hour.  I don't want to go.  I keep telling myself that I have an easy job, and I do. But that doesn't change the fact that I don't want to go.  It's not that I don't want to work at all, I just want a job that is challenging; a job where I am treated like a participant rather than a fixture.  Sitting in that booth makes it all seem like it is on TV... you're not looking in at me, I am the one watching you.  I see the day unfold and move into the night and the night fall back into the day.  I see everything and I hear everything.  I know  every shadow and every corner.  I have been here too long.  I am wiser and older than I seem.  Common sense isn't common and common courtesy is even less.  You get to leave and I have to stay.  It is a small space, please don't fart.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

It's Where We Come From

Harvest

Dad


I have not always been concerned with social class; I have been aware of social distinctions most of my life but, until recently, I was largely unaware of the effect that class has had on my every-day existence.  Growing up in a largely middle class community in the western suburbs of Chicago I had always assumed that I belonged to the middle class, we had all of the material luxuries; a house in a decent neighborhood, more than one car, my dad rode a motorcycle, we had a camper and took family vacations, had decent clothes, went to a nice school, went to church... your basic living-the-American-dream suburban lifestyle.  Yet, looking back, there always seemed to be significant social differences between me and my peers in school and church.  I believe one of the biggest differences was that my father turned a wrench for most of his working career while most other dads worked in an office.  Did that mean that we were working class?  Is “working class” a bad word? Was I excluded from the middle class without being aware? 
Over his career my father was able to work his way into sales and eventually upper management on a high school diploma.  As he moved up in his career, our family moved up in our accumulation of status symbols but, did it really matter what we owned or where my father worked?  Is that what social class is really about?  Where did we fit in? What are the indicators of social class?  How are social distinctions in our culture defined, what are the lines?  How does social mobility work?  Can we ever truly be  socially mobile?  How do people in our culture identify themselves within the American caste system?  What is the history of that system? 
I would like to explore the issue of social class using arts-based research as a method of inquiry.  I would like to interview other people and learn about their experiences with social class.  I will photograph them and their environment; these photographs coupled with co-created literature documenting our conversation will serve as evidence to gain a better understanding of how people identify themselves (consciously or subconsciously) with a social class.  
Along with the photographs and writing, I want to explore my own experiences by continuing to develop and incorporate a body of drawings I have been creating that is based on memories of my family, their stories and our shared experiences in work, life, and relationships.  The central figure in these drawings is a representation of a working class stereotype, an idealized form that represents “the worker” and relates some of the assumed characteristics of a working class existence from my personal experience.  The drawings are based on my interpretation of past events, memories, wishes, and people who are important to me.  The formless faces connote the individual but never give the individual an actual identity... for instance, if the power goes out, we call ComEd and report the outage, an hour later the power comes back on and we go on with our daily lives.  What we might sometimes take for granted is the person who actually went into the wires and sorted everything out; for us there is no name, no face, just the result. 
Social class is a multidimensional issue encompassing political, religious, gender and racial issues.  This project will not be able to address these issues in full; It will concentrate on social class while keeping in mind that there are many forces that shape our experience.  These forces will inevitably make an appearance in the work and eventually will have a say in the direction the project moves. This is a start; it is an effort to gain a better understanding of social class, how we live together, and how we can make our shared experiences more meaningful.


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Connection < Disconnection

Is it a memory?  A wish?  The future?
All of the above maybe?



Saturday, March 24, 2012

Stuck at Work

Occupation

How did I get here?

My first job was a paper route, I think I was 12.  My route covered the area from Willow street north to the tracks between Chase and Washington.  This neighborhood is an older part of Wheaton, and was always a mixed income neighborhood.  Just south of the train tracks you would find students for Wheaton College and some lower income homes and apartments.  As you move south away from the tracks the income level grows by each street.  

Back in the late 80's when I delivered papers there the neighborhood was mostly older folks, if I had to guess I would say the average age of my customers was about 65.  I helped the people on my route; I mowed the lawn for one of my customers, and once I helped another set up their garage sale.  I usually got pretty good tips on the holidays, most of my customers lived through the depression so they appreciated the plight of the young paperboy trying to earn a dime.  

They weren't all good though, I had one customer spit at me... a grown man spitting at a child.  I got hit by a car while riding my bike to deliver papers on halloween when I was in sixth grade, obviously not on purpose.  I ended up throwing my last bundle of papers into a vacant house down the street instead of delivering them.  

I am not sure how long I had my paper route, couldn't have been more than a year or two.  I don't think they really had paper routes for kids too much longer after I had mine.  It's kind of weird that no one will be sending their 12 year old a couple of miles away to deliver paper to strangers.... wait that isn't weird anymore is it?  What would happen to someone who sent their 12 year old child on a paper route now?  Probably get arrested.

That was the first work experience I got payed for.
It was a valuable experience and one that I am glad I was able to have.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Family Pictures

Mom with Great Grandma and Great Grandpa


My great grandparents immigrated from Germany.  They were farmers in central Illinois.  My grandfather was their youngest child; I was told that he was named after his older brother who died as a child.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Family Pictures

Olan Mills

When I was a kid we would take a family portrait at least once a year.  It was very important to my mom.  Olan Mills popularized a style of family portrait that wound up on the walls of almost every home in America in the 70's, 80's, and 90's.  Every thing had to be just so; the grouping of the people, the placement of a hand, the negative space, the soft gradient background.  You didn't need to see the little gold script seal in the corner to know where it was made.

Looking at the pictures now it is interesting to see us as kids, it brings back good memories.  The standardized way that Olan Mills worked created an affordable memory, a snap shot in time of you trying to look your best.  I remember getting ready for the picture sessions; we all had to get into our Sunday best... if mom was going to take us there and spend the money we were going to look our best.  Waiting in the lobby was like waiting for a doctor, there was redeeming value though in getting to see all of the pictures of other people on the walls... I loved looking at those pictures on the wall...
When they were ready for us we would be ushered into the studio.  Mom would select the backdrop she wanted and they would set up the boxes and the rugs.  The photographer posed everyone, said something stupid to make us smile and snapped the shot.  He replaced the film holder and the process started again.  A week(?) later mom would go see the proofs and pick out the ones she liked.  A couple weeks after that she would pick the prints up and replace the previous portrait in the living room.


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Listen...

From Yo Gabba Gabba
(appropriated)
Listen

Monday, March 5, 2012

Dad made this..

..photograph.
It hung in his office.

He probably stood right there when he made it.


Dad was a mechanic for a pump repair company.   The pumps that he repaired were not the kind of pumps you have in your basement... he could repair those too but, the companies he worked for serviced power plants, waste treatment plants, water stations, etc.
This is a photograph of the Coffeen power station in Coffeen, Illinois.  I am not sure when this photograph was made but I believe that it was the mid nineties.  That would have been when he was running a repair facility in Joliet.  He would have made this picture while visiting the power station on business.  He used his Pentax K1000 35mm camera; when I first started taking pictures I used his camera.  In a way this photograph is sort of like corporate art.

I have had this photograph sitting in a frame in the back of my closet for years.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Home

1977-1986
This is the house that I spent the first few years of my life in.  My father and grandfather built the garage.  

1986-1997
This is the house my parents built.  It will always be home.  Ghost in the graveyard, underage drinking parties on the back patio.  Basketball on the driveway.  We planted the lawn from seed.  We were the first house facing the street on this side of the block.

I also lived in Florida for a little over a year but I have no photographs of where I lived.  I lived in a trailer park off of the first exit into the state on I-95.  

1998-2003
I did not live in this house but, this is where my grandparents house once stood.  After my grandmother passed away we moved in with my grandfather.  After grandpa passed away the house was torn down and this house was built.  The big tree in front was planted by my mother when she was in elementary school.  That is the sidewalk where I first learned to ride a bike.

2003-present
We live in a townhouse now.  It is about half the size of any house we have lived in.  It  was interesting to downsize- all of the sudden you have too much stuff.  I think we must have spent the first four years either throwing stuff away or donating it.  We have the windows and door to the right of the tree.  Kinda nice to have an inside unit.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Middle-Class ... Working-Class


"That middle-class students will go to college, strive for professional jobs, and live in typical, middle-class neighborhoods are matters that are clearly assumed by both the general population as well as by social researchers who are for the most part middle-class themselves."
Peter Kaufman- 
Middle-Class Social Reproduction



     As a young child my family was a working class family.  My father was a mechanic and my mother stayed at home and raised the kids; three of us.  Through his experience and connections my father was able to move into management and get a bigger salary.  During the mid 1990's we enjoyed a typical suburban middle-class life because of what my father did for a living.  As a middle-class family we would go on vacations every summer, we had toys, life was good.  After dad lost his job and couldn't find another one, he got sick and was gone in less than 3 years.  Mom had to go back to work and we had to down-size.  There are a lot of 'could'a, would'a, should'a' moments but things went the way they went and it's useless to dwell on what might have been.  
     We are working-class and proud of it.  As a working-class man I have done my best and gone into a great deal of debt to strive for college; completing seven, soon to be nine years of college.  I am still striving for the professional job and the white picket fence, 2.4 kids.... maybe not in a middle class neighborhood, but.... One day I might find it and I might be able to provide a life like I had for my own family.  Until then...

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Matriarch Patriarch

Roles

I come from a strong family.   A family run by the women and backed up by the men.  My grandmother ran the show and was the glue that held the extended family together.  When she passed away the family never fully recovered.  I was lucky to experience the kind of family that a strong relationship produces.  In my later experiences I see that our family was an anomaly;  nobody in our family ever got divorced.  My parents actually loved each other and I know that it was the same for all of my aunts and uncles as well.  There is no denying that there were problems, disagreements and disappointments... we had plenty of ghosts in the closet like any other family.  But, no matter what, we were all kept in line and put on the right path by strong female leadership that was backed by a strong male presence.

I am not saying that this is what you must have in order to become a whole person.  The definition of "family" can mean many things all of which can work if the members put forth an honest effort to make it work.  This is where I came from, my experience.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Power Over Others

Possession of objects without responsibility can lead to a sense of entitlement.


Saturday, February 11, 2012

John


John- "I thought I was having psychotic experiences.  We were walking down the street... and there is a house down there with sunflowers out front; there is a girl out front playing with her dog or something.... the little girl goes running up to the front of the house, yells in the front door, 'Daddy, Daddy the Jews are coming down the street!'"

Me- "But, you're not Jewish, are you?"

John- "No, well, we have a Mezuzah on the front door that a friend of ours gave us...  A couple weeks later I am pulling out of the Marathon station [and the preachers kid, who lives down the street], he's walking by the meat market and he looks at me and goes, 'Hey Jew!'."

Me- "How do people even know [the Mezuzah is] there?"

John- "All this started after we hosted the block party, and people went in to use the bathroom."

Me-"Did anyone ask you what it was for?"

John-"No, the only people that have asked are friends that we have known before we moved here."




I interviewed John in his home in Wheaton.  If you are not familiar with Wheaton, it is located in the western suburbs of Chicago.  Wheaton is the home of Wheaton College (an evangelical college that only recently allowed it's students to have a dance) and more churches per square mile than any other town in the country.  It has been the seat of the Republican party in Illinois for years and is a very conservative community.  
After hearing about John's experiences I came across this clip of Louie C.K. on Conan and found it to be an appropriate addition to the conversation.  I was amazed by what these children had said to John and began to wonder how a child learns to speak that way to or about an adult or even another person.  You don't look at a child and expect bigotry; in my mind bigotry can only be indoctrinated by an adult.  While the clip of Louie C.K. is humorous it is also frightening that this kind of racial intolerance is still around.  There is no doubt that the parallels are there and it didn't feel like too much of a stretch to put the two vignettes together.

How do you feel about these cases?
What are your experiences?

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Iteration 20

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 19

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 18

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 17

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 16

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 15

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 14

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 13

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 12

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 11

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 10

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 9

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 8

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 7

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 6

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 5

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 4

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 3

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 2

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Iteration 1

Guy walks into the store.

He is greeted by the clerk, "hey, how ya doin'?"

"Twenty on five." says the Guy.

"Sure."

Guy walks out.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Some of us are Warm, some of us are Cool

This White Collar existence is crippling me.
I can't work anymore.

Middle management is a hard place to be.  
You don't belong to either side.  
The middle is tough.

Advantage < Disadvantage

Thursday, February 2, 2012

When I was a boy ...

...my hero was my father.  
Now I am a man and he still is.
Who had a positive influence in your life?

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Relationships

Some of us are warm and some of us are cool.  
Do we pay attention to differences more than we do similarities?
How do I compare to you?

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Feeling Nostalgic... up too late.

Tires


Serendipity


Back Yard


Ashley


Tony


Rochelle


Mike Patton


C.O.D. in the Fall


Belleau Woods


2001


2004


Before


Graphite


Graphite


Chalk Pastel


Conte


Graphite


Wires


...


Lights


Tower


Ground


Cell


Tree House

Iris


Kaitlin
:)